I spent my own money, close to a “grand” to attend a module for a particular teaching method I have dabbled with but never been officially trained in.

The week before it started (5 days before) a dear family member died of covid.

The second week of the 2-week course I took ill on Wednesday halfway through class (but stayed with it) and had to take the Thursday off. Was back on the last day of class to take notes and participate a little, but…

And intended to go back and catch up and review this week.

But on Sunday I had an allergic reaction while working in the garden. Current theory is that I was reacting to being in the sun (I am wondering if it was an ozone trigger). I got sicker and sicker (because I didn’t recognize it for an allergic reaction I didn’t take extra antihistamines…). Monday I was stuck in bed. Literally. couldn’t. move. Until in the evening I was so nauseated I moved to the bathroom floor (with blankets and pillow). Good move.

Spent the night in the bathroom on a little cot… better enough on Tuesday to sleep ALL day…

On Wednesday I wandered around a little bit, and was finally well enough to feed Wally his meals. I was better enough to start taking my medications again.

Today? I am tired. I can “go” for about ten minutes’ exertion (read: be up and moving and doing light housework) and then need to rest for a while.

Which leads us to the title of the post: when giving up is a good choice.

I have decided to “let go” of the course I took, in terms of earning credits. I did the learning, but at this point I have just a handful of weeks left and still haven’t fully been “en vacances.”

I need to take time that is truly just for myself and my family – I want to spend time puttering in the garden (although from now on with long sleeves, sunscreen, a hat, and early in the day) – I want to do some sewing, and some crafting, and maybe even make some jelly from the plums that are heavy on the tree.

To do that, I have to “give up” the compulsion to finish everything I start. I don’t need the clock hours to maintain my certificate although they would be wonderful to have on my record! I don’t need the culminating “project” that would have cost me several more hours’ prep time as well as the stress of teaching in the summer. I don’t need to push my body right now.

So I won’t.

I wrote to the instructor and explained what has happened, suggested a way that I might receive partial credit, and expressed gratitude for the learning I was able to do.

Give up? You bet!

If walking away from this task will make me stronger, healthier, and happier, then it’s the right decision.

Sometimes, the victory is in recognizing when it’s time to give up.


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